OUT NOW: KEEPING UP WITH PIPER
Beware of your past. She might kill you.
I've spent years preparing for this moment. I know you so well, Piper. Maybe more than you know yourself. I know what shampoo you use, I know what podcasts you listen to while driving to your job at an online lifestyle blog, I know what kind of coffee you drink, I know what bedtime stories you read to your daughter. I'll destroy you for what you've done to me. Enjoy our friendship as long as you can.
Blair Morgan has a new identity, a new name, a new life. She wants revenge for what Piper Flores did to her, for what she took from her. She wants her to suffer as much as she did. After years of preparation she's now ready to turn the tables on her. And she's willing to sacrifice everything she has left.
KEEPING UP WITH PIPER IS NOW AVAILABLE ON AMAZON, ITUNES, ETC.
HERE'S THE FIRST CHAPTER
TODAY
MANHATTAN, NEW YORK CITY
“I’m Piper,” you say with your
lovely disgusting voice.
For just a second I
wonder what I’ll do if you recognize me too soon. What if my new identity lacks
authenticity? What if you recognize my face? I guess I’ll have to kill you then,
which would be quite early. I still have plans for you. But girl, lovely Piper,
in case you do recognize me I’m prepared for that. In my black Chloé bag
there’s not only a pretty nude lipstick, some pinkish rouge, my phone, the keys
to my white Mercedes-Benz, a wallet, hand lotion, a Nicholas Sparks novel and black
sunglasses, there’s also a loaded gun. Nobody would expect that from a skinny
blonde girl in her mid-twenties who shops at Neiman Marcus, Brandy Melville and
Urban Outfitters, wears scrunchies and comes with an enchanting smile, so I
don’t bother taking it with me to the first day of my new job. A job that turns
me into your colleague. It brings me closer to you and that’s exactly where I
need to be. At lalamilan, an Italian lifestyle blog with headquarters in New
York City, no one bothers to search your bag for weapons. They are all fancy
hipsters, fashionistas, who think the world revolves around the newest designer
collections, colorful socks with prints, beauty, super healthy food a.k.a.
superfood and their selfies. Also, if anyone ever finds it, I’ll just say it’s
for self-defense. It clearly is, right? The world is rough, especially for
young girls and women. It’s not uncommon for a young woman in a city such as New
York City to have a crazy stalker following her or come across a criminal on
her way home. They are where you least expect them, so beware. They could turn
out to be a blonde woman in her mid-twenties.
Honestly, I’m not even
qualified for this awful job as a project lead at this extremely irrelevant
global lifestyle blog. I’m so not. But do I care? Hell, no. As long as I’m with
you, as long as I’m your new dear coworker, I don’t mind at all. I had to do
some digging to get here, to land this job. A job that I never wanted. How do
you fake a degree in journalism? How do you fake your references, certificates
and invent a whole new identity for yourself? In case you ever need a degree
from any university I now know how to fake a document like that. Mine looks too
real. I’m proud of myself. Just call me for more information.
According to my
certificate I’m a graduate of Pepperdine University in Malibu, California.
Isn’t that great? Totally fits the image of a blonde fashionista and media
professional. I’ve never even visited Pepperdine or Malibu. I just googled
their certificate, found one on Instagram and did some professional photoshopping.
Photoshopping is fun. I get it why people like you and your colleagues like to
photoshop their photos, make their waist smaller, make their skin look tanner,
their eyes bluer, their hair smoother, their wrinkles and spots disappear, and
change the boring white background to the Eiffel Tower. I won’t waste my time
with photoshopping myself, I have better plans. Thanks Kelly Foster a.k.a.
@misskelfos who posted a certificate on her account publicly. That made it much
easier to fake one. The people’s need to share their whole lives on social
media makes everything easier. The document literally included Kelly’s address,
her full name, her grades. I feel like I know Kelly Foster, like I’m a friend.
And copying a friend’s degree is not as bad, right? Keep on sharing, so I can
keep on photoshopping. You can’t create a certificate without knowing what an
original one looks like. Let’s not be too mysterious. I can assure you I’m not
one of those applicants who haven’t studied at all but want to land a job
that’s above their qualifications. The truth is I do have an undergraduate
degree. I have one in Computer Engineering from NYU. I achieved this without
any cheating, ghostwriting or any other form of fraud. Computer Engineering is
quite useful when stalking some selfish social media addicted bitch like you,
isn’t it? And yes, the New York University is your alma mater as well. That’s
why I went there, so I could be as close to you as possible. And it worked out,
I now know every detail of your life. During all these years I didn’t miss a
thing, trust me. I bet few people spend so much time following someone.
Piper,
you look just like your sixteen-year-old self. You haven’t changed at all. You
still put your long hair in a high ponytail, you still wear that red or pink
lipstick that makes you look like a cheap prostitute and you still wear fancy outfits
inspired by your favorite series Gossip Girl, Pretty Little Liars
and Riverdale. You were the exact same person in high school. I see no
difference. And that is how I know that you still deserve everything I have
planned for you. But why do I pretend like I didn’t know? I knew it all before.
I might look at you as if we’ve never met before, but we did. Also, I’ve been
following you for six years now. Isn’t that a long time? We should celebrate our
anniversary before I get rid of you. I could bake a cake, since I know you
can’t bake shit.
“Nice
to meet you,” I say. I wish I’ve never met you at all.
I haven’t spoken to you
in a while, a few years actually. I hear your voice every day, I see your face
every day (sometimes even other body parts since you like taking your iPad with
you to the bathroom and watch series while showering or doing your business).
You should really make use of some stickers to put on your camera. Everybody
could hack your devices like I did. I once met a girl who seriously stuck transparent
tape strip onto the laptop camera. That was the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.
“This
is Blair Morgan, she’ll be your new project lead,” Paola explains and points at
me as if she’s trying to sell an expensive sofa. Look at her, a new one, wow.
Paola
is the head of this company, the so-called CEO of lalamilan.
Isn’t it awkward how literally
everyone calls themselves chief executive officer these days? Literally every
micro-influencer with a thousand followers on Instagram and every young
business student who founds another startup that sells watches with detachable
straps is an entrepreneur now, a founder, a businessman or businesswoman.
That’s just a regular Instagram profile with some low-priced ads on it, not a
company. Just chill, everyone.
And lalamilan? Is a
lifestyle blog even a real company, a real business? Apparently yes, it is. Paola
makes quite a bit of money with this blog. A lot of money to be honest. Until I
hacked into her system and saw the numbers, the transfers and her bank account
I had no idea blogs were so lucrative. After the podcast and social media hype
I thought blogs were dead. I never gave a shit about fashion or make-up, labels
or about following some elite’s rules when it comes to appearance, but you
taught me to follow the rules, didn’t you, Piper? Your very personal and very
strict rules. And not just me, everyone needs to follow them. I guess
you feel at home at this snobbish company with its arrogant and delusional
employees. For me all of this is just one small part of my plan. Just a small
step on the ladder to my liberation.
As you can tell I don’t
care about this job at all. I don’t care about the whole industry. I’ve never
led a project, but my resumé says I’m a brilliant project manager and I have lots
of experience despite my young age, at a tech company in Italy and a fashion
magazine in Paris. And all that at the age of twenty-four. I’m a genius. I’ve
never even been to France or Italy. In case anyone asks me about life in Europe
I’ll just google it. I know a little bit about life in France though, and you
do, too, Piper. When it comes to Italy I’ll just read a few novels and pretend
like I know it all. I’m smart enough to lie in a way that is trustworthy. That
is key in a world like ours. I’m glad Paola is your boss, and my boss, because
she’s the kind of person who can be fooled easily.
The
team that I lead is quite small. It only consists of you, Piper, and your awkward
colleague Amber Cassidy, an almost thirty-year-old media studies graduate from
Florida, who has a YouTube channel about, guess what, fashion and beauty. It
only has about three thousand subscribers, though. Not bad, huh? It is bad
considering that she started this YouTube channel five fricking years ago. Others
gain millions of subscribers during that amount of time. I guess she gave up on
becoming a YouTube star, a social media phenomenon, an overnight success, and now
it’s just a hobby of hers. She still refers to herself as a YouTuber on
Instagram, however. Well, that’s none of my business. Before joining lalamilan
she worked for a hotel chain in Miami. I didn’t really have to stalk her for
that. It’s all on her social media profiles, LinkedIn, Twitter and Facebook
(yeah, she’s old), Instagram and YouTube. I even found a blog of hers, an old
one, but she stopped blogging in 2018. That’s the downside of the influencer
hype. Some of us become famous overnight, some of us try so hard for years, but
constantly fail to become a public favorite. Amber’s the latter. Just because I
don’t post on social media, to remain invisible, doesn’t mean I don’t follow
all the trends and those who became online stars. I’ve seen many come and go
those last years.
To be honest, I would
actually rather have Amber’s job. She’s also a project assistant, just like
you, Piper. You’re equal, and she has her desk right next to yours. That’s what
I wanted but I made my resumé a bit too impressive, and Amber didn’t quit her
job, my predecessor did. Paola was so convinced of me that she made me project
lead instead of just another assistant. She put another assistant position
online. Now I have a tiny office all for myself and a wonderful view: You. The
salary is quite okay (low compared to the jobs I’m actually qualified for but apparently
the fashion and journalism industries pay badly in general) but how can we
become best friends when I’m actually your boss? Does that work? I hope so but I
have my doubts. Paola said that at lalamilan there are flat hierarchies. Maybe
it’ll all work out.
“This
is your office,” Paola says and points at the glass door that leads to a small
but modern and well-equipped office room.
The
glass door could become a problem but since no one can actually see what I’m
doing on my laptop it’s fine. Not ideal, but alright. There are a lot of
paintings and sculptures in this building. Four paintings decorate my office. I
guess Paola likes them. But to be honest they don’t even look great. They’re
mainly black and white, cloggy, and way too modern and simple if you ask me.
“Looks
great,” I say and look at the plain white desk, the laptop on top of it and the
empty white shelf behind it.
I don’t like to lie but
I’ll have to lie a lot from now on. I have to make Blair Morgan appear real.
“Thanks,
I didn’t hire an interior designer, I planned it all by myself. I have an eye
for detail, and I know a bit about design.” She smiles.
You
didn’t hire an interior designer? That’s exactly what it looks like, Paola. But
whatever, at least she tried.
I
wonder why Paola even hired me. Don’t get me wrong, without this job it would
be so difficult to get close to you, Piper. I need this job. How should I
become your friend without the possibility of seeing you every day? How else should
I introduce Blair Morgan to you? But honestly, I didn’t find myself very
convincing during the job interview. I just told Paola about my awesome and
life-changing experiences in Italy and France and my degree from Pepperdine.
That is it. She just fell in love with me. I didn’t even have to come up with
any more detailed impressive stories regarding my work experience or my
strengths and weaknesses. The rest of the interview we talked about how fashion
blogs shape and vitalize the fashion industry.
Groundbreaking.
Maybe she’s dumb, I
don’t know. She didn’t even verify my qualifications and references. Instead of
giving her contact details of my former bosses, which don’t exist, she now has
the phone number of my dead grandmother from Tucson, Arizona, and an email
address that doesn’t exist either. But I’m far from being stupid. In case she
calls my grandma, her calls being redirected to the phone at my apartment in
Brooklyn. The one that’s only a few walking minutes away from yours, Piper. In case
she emails Mr. Anthony Sullivan, it’s me who receives her message. And let me
tell you, Mr. Anthony Sullivan is thrilled by my skills and expertise. He’s a
huge fan of mine. There’s not even an Anthony Sullivan on LinkedIn. For someone
who owns a lifestyle blog worth a million dollars Paola doesn’t know shit about
the online world.
Good for me, bad for
you, Piper.
“There’s
free coffee in the kitchen,” Paola says and looks extremely proud, as if free
coffee is what employees want most, not respect, not equal and appropriate
salaries, not even world peace, no, just free coffee. She’s so generous.
Great,
I mean I hate coffee, but you love it, Piper, don’t you? But your favorite
drink still is Tequila. I know exactly why. Once your grades dropped in college
you started going out more often. Tequila helped you overcome these dark
moments in your life. And your lovely little daughter? You left her at home
with her Dad, Joe. But Joe isn’t around anymore. He didn’t like it how you went
clubbing while he was babysitting your common child. Now Joe lives somewhere in
Connecticut with his new girlfriend. Every second weekend he takes your dear
Dana Isabella with him. Why would someone want to leave New York City and move
to Connecticut? Nobody understands that but I’m glad that he’s out of my way. He
was way too nice for a bitch like you are. He stumbled over you in a bar
downtown. You were drunk and disgusting but somehow people are fond of you.
“If
there’s anything you need, just come to my office at the end of the hallway or
leave me a message,” says Paola.
Gosh, she’s so
approachable. Wow. As soon as Paola is gone, I walk up to your desk. You look
tired. Have you been up all night because Dana Isabella couldn’t fall asleep? I
know. I saw it. Try reading her some bedtime stories.
“Hey there,” I say. “Do
you want to grab lunch later on?”
“Sure,” you answer and
smile at me.
Of course, you want to
grab lunch with me. I’m hot now and that is exactly your type when it comes to
guys or friends. You want them to look hot, be confident and cool. Luckily,
I’ve taught myself how to look stunning in most people’s eyes, how to act like
I’m extremely self-aware, how to attract the attention of those around me.
Thanks to you I know how to adjust.
“Let’s say one pm,” I
suggest.
You’re going to say yes.
It’s been a while since someone actually rejected me.
You nod. “Amazing, I
know where to get some delicious paninis.”
I know you do, girl. You
love to eat paninis with lots of cheese, bacon, not more than two tomatoes and
just a few onions at Benissimo, an Italian restaurant near Union Square Park,
just two blocks away from this building. You go there on Mondays and Fridays.
On Tuesdays and Wednesdays, you go to work with some pre-cooked meals in a blue
lunchbox, mainly pasta with vegetables, or only vegetables, or pasta with
cheese and bacon. I have no idea why you hate mac and cheese but love spaghetti
with cheese and bacon. At the office you microwave your pre-cooked meals in the
kitchen and sit there with Valery, Tom and Grace from the IT and HR Department,
because Amber usually doesn’t have lunch on those days.
How do I know? I’m
watching you, Piper. Every time you have your phone or laptop with you, I’m
watching you. Oh, and, of course, I’m also listening to your voice. I see and
hear all that you do. I’m watching you when you brush your teeth in your tiny bathroom
at your apartment in Brooklyn, when you cook dinner for Dana Isabella, when you
sit in front of the TV and read work emails on your laptop. I even moved to
Brooklyn because of you. Guess where I lived before, Piper. In SoHo. And let me
tell you, SoHo is even nicer than Brooklyn, but for you, for my soon-to-be best
friend, I do everything. I even leave SoHo for Brooklyn, just to be closer to
you. I sacrifice a good life to be part of yours.
Valery, that chick you
eat with on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, is the one who sent me the contract and
told me what time to be here on my first day, which is today. We come along
quite well. But I know you find her annoying. Every time she tells you about
her weekend, which she mostly spends at home watching series and baking all
kinds of cookies and cakes, you roll your eyes. Valery and I talked about the
perfect chocolate chip cookies recipe and Grey’s Anatomy and Jane the
Virgin, her favorite series, on the phone before I started working here.
She just wanted to know if I want to rent a parking lot underneath the office
building, but we then talked for an hour about her amazing weekend. I hate Grey’s
Anatomy and I actually don’t care about how chocolate chip cookies are
made. I like every kind of chocolate chip cookie, regardless of what butter,
sweetener or mixing technique was used. I just don’t care but I need all of
your colleagues to like me, even annoying Valery. I don’t understand much of
the things that you do in your life but finding Valery annoying isn’t of them.
I don’t like her either.
“Great, I absolutely
love paninis,” I say.
Isn’t that amazing how I
just need to tell you I like exactly what you like and that makes it easier for
us to become friends? Such an amazing psychological effect. I know you’re a
huge fan of Rita Ora, you never miss a concert when she’s performing in New
York City, and you have a girl crush on Cara Delevingne. Besides paninis you
love Italian food in general, pizza and pasta, everything with cheese and
tomatoes. You love going shopping with your girls (mainly roommates from NYU)
but since you became a mother, you aren’t that close anymore. As much as you
like tequila you hate beer, but you can’t get enough of red wine. Your favorite
kind of evening is sitting at home with your best friend, watching a series,
drinking red wine and gossiping about everything and everyone. That’s what
we’ll do together soon.
On Sunday nights you
always drink the cheapest bottle of red wine you could find at Food Bazaar.
That’s how you spend those Friday evenings, on which Joe takes Dana Isabella
with him. You often go grocery shopping after you’ve picked up Dana Isabella
from kindergarten in Brooklyn, close to your apartment. You actually wanted her
to go to an international kindergarten where the kids learn French and be all
fancy all day long but that was just impossible with your budget. However, you
were able to convince your Ex Joe to send you more money as soon as she’s five
years old and goes to school. She turns five in two months. And the school you
chose for her is The Huntington School in Lower Manhattan, close to SoHo. Great
choice, I must admit. If it wasn’t for you I would just move back there, now
that I’ve enrolled my own kid at that exact same school. But I want to be the
one offering to drive your daughter to school. I want to be the one you ask for
a play date. As soon as you realize how much we have in common it won’t take
long until we’re closer than you and Penelope back then. I know a lot about
Penelope as well, I know every detail of her miserable life, but you know
exactly why I want revenge on you, Piper, and less on her.
I walk into my tiny
office and close the door. Paola sent me everything I need to know via email. That’s
what she said. The position of a project lead is completely new so even Paola
doesn’t exactly know what I’m supposed to start with. I don’t care at all about
the success of lalamilan but let’s see what she emailed me.
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